चप्टर ६- hate

I blinked awake; the sun was shining in through my bedroom window. I sat up in bed and looked around my cluttered, messy room. Then my eyes drifted to my alarm clock. It said 7:02 in flashing green numbers, I grunted, still tired. I rubbed my eyes sleepily and pulled the covers off of myself and sat on my bed, legs dangling off, toes barely touching the floor. I was still looking around my room when my pink eyes landed on a fuzzy, almost black, carpet looking thing. I stood up, feet now touching the cool, hard, wooden floor. I walked slowly, tip toeing across the floor until I reached the carpet thing. Then it moved, I froze, and it twitched a paw. Only then I realized it was Tsume in wolf form. I bent down slowly to keep from falling over; balancing on the balls of my feet. I watched him breath, his chest rising and falling evenly. In an almost a hypnotic fashion. He was lying on his side, still asleep. I couldn’t believe that someone like him would sleep in, he always seemed like a morning person to me. I stretched my hand forward, being cautious, to pet his soft looking fur. I was right it was soft, silky, and smooth; no knots in it at all. I continued to gently stroke him. After a minute or two his ear twitched but I never noticed. Then his eyes fluttered open; and I stared into golden yellow orbs as our eyes met. My hand was hovering over his now human stomach and I realized he was a boy, laying on my floor.
“U-uhh…. Hi,” I said sheepishly retracting my hand as fast as I could, and blushed a pale pink. He blinked a few times, obviously still tired, and then he pushed himself into a sitting position by resting on his elbows on the floor and bending his knee. His blue black hair wasn’t very neat, it flopped all over the place. He was very close to my face now.
“Were you just petting me?” He asked as he lifted his arm and laid it over his bent knee. I flushed a brighter pink. Looking away from him, I tried to change the subject,
“So…. Do you want to go eat?” he just closed his eyes briefly, sighed, and then opened them again. Nodding his head he stood up, still unbelievably close to me.
“Ok, what are we going to eat?” He asked not looking down at me. I stood up quickly so I wouldn’t have to stare up at him. Then I walked to my door slowly not wanting to move anymore.
“I don’t know what kind of foods do you like? I know I have things like cereal, oatmeal, pizza, maybe more….” I trailed off as I reached for the door because Tsume had leaned forward; his hand and head rested on the doorframe. I couldn’t see his whole face but his eyes were tight with pain. I ran over to his side, but I wasn’t sure about what to do, “Tsume! Tsume, are you ok? What’s wrong?”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Pain coursed through me, as I tried to get it under control. I had to get it under control, even if it was just for Kira’s sake. I had my entire weight
supported on my right foot, my head and my arm propped against the door frame. I could hear a voice but it was so faint. I couldn’t understand what it was saying. The pure white painted wooden door was starting to get fuzzy; my vision was getting blurry. Then some gray blotches started creeping into my eyesight. Everything was starting to turn black. ‘No. Hold on. Don’t quit…Try… try… t..r..y.’ was the last thing I thought of before the whole world turned black.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Tsume started to fall over to the side- started to collapse.
“Tsume!” I cried as I rushed forward to catch him. I sort of caught him but I also fell with him. He looked asleep, almost peaceful. I sat there with Tsume’s head in my lap hoping he would wake up. After about five minutes, Tsume opened his eyes.
“Sorry about that, but don’t worry. I’m fine.” I stared at him, a minute ticked by.
“But… that was something I should worry about.” I was trying to think of what could hurt him that badly. ‘Maybe something during the festival…’ I thought about it for a second, it was the only thing I could come up with. I replayed that horrible event in my head, then it hit me; when the drunkard tried to whack me and Tsume came to my aid. During the rest of the fight I don’t think the drunken man had even laid a hand on Tsume. He took a direct hit, straight to his gut. He took that blow and got back up to fight. A blow, which for me, probably would have meant a few broken ribs. I knew that that’s what it was but I didn’t want to admit it. I wanted to believe that the wolf-boy in front of me was invincible. I should have realized that he had gotten hurt, even if he was a wolf. I wanted to hit myself for believing something silly like that; that he was something like a superhero. As I had my little revaluation he stared at me and was continuing to stare at me.
“Don’t worry it’s only a few bruised ribs.” He said in a rush, as though he only had one breath to say it in. I cringed, it still had to hurt.
“Only bruised..?!” I stared at him in disbelief. He was sitting slouched over right next to me, hand hovering over his abdomen. “Look at you, it must still be hurting you.” At this he took a few deep breaths as though to steady himself. Then he sat up straight and took away his hand.
“I’m fine.” He grumbled through gritted teeth. “Really I am.” He fixed me with that icy, commanding, glare that told me not to argue.
“Fine but please, please don’t push yourself.” I pleaded hoping that would be enough. He nodded and stood up, wincing slightly. I quickly got up too. “Um, before you collapsed and fainted did you hear what I said?” I asked trying faintly to lighten the mood. He nodded,
“Yeah you were saying something about pizza.” He said smiling meekly at me. I stared at him, wondering how he seems fine when just two minutes ago he looked like he was going to die. Before starting down the stairs, I blinked in utter amazement. I walked carefully and could hear Tume behind me. His breathing sounded more normal and that comforted me a little bit. Then I remembered the question I had wanted to ask him earlier; the thought flashed through my mind.
“Oh yeah! How come you were sleeping in my room?” I asked and silently added, ‘and what was I doing in my bed? I don’t remember going to bed.’ I noticed his face looked slightly pink.
“Well you never gave me a room to sleep in since you fell asleep and, although the couch looks inviting, it doesn’t look that comfortable.” His face held a small smirk because I was now blushing at my own idiocy. We were in the living room, walking slowly toward the kitchen.
“… Sorry…” I mumbled, I was really upset at myself now because first off I was the one who asked him to stay. Then I fell asleep and he was forced to sleep on the floor; all because I was too tired to stay up just a few more minutes. I really wanted to hit myself for being so stupid.
“Oi oi Kira-chan dijavu?” He spoke in Japanese, using the skills he learned in our multi-lingual class. I had to translate slowly in my own head, ‘Hey hey Kira, it’s ok.’
“Says you.” I continued to speak in English, it was easier for me.
“No it really is fine and your carpet is really soft, so I’m fine. And if you really want to make it up to me you can make me cold pizza.” He smiled brightly. I was amazed that his smile still made my heart skip a beat. I frowned at my own girlyness and because of my blushing. I went straight to the black fridge and I pointed to the cupboard to my right.
“Plates are in there. Can you get some please?” I waited as he opened the cupboard and took out two plastic plates, “Thanks.” I said as he put the plates on the table. I took out a square container from the fridge and opened it up. Placing two pieces of pizza onto the plates I tried to think of something to say. I took both plates and started walking over to the microwave when Tsume gingerly took his plate from my hands.
“Thanks.” He smiled, letting me see his amazing, shiny, slightly pointed teeth. I stared at him for about a minute.
“It’s still cold…” I knew that I sounded stupid, but I said it anyway. I was somewhat confused.
“I know.” He chuckled but he continued, “I like it better that way.” He walked over to the small black marble table-bar and sat down in a white bar stool with a black cushion.
“It’s ok but now I prefer mine a little warmer because everyone thought I was weird for eating it that way.” I sat down beside him in a black bar stool with a white cushion. He had already took 3 large bites of his pizza, digging in. I was eating slowly, taking my time. He swallowed his last bite,
“Hey… do you have parents?” He asked wiping his mouth with a napkin. I flinched at the subject.
“Yes I do.” I had to focus on not clenching my hands as I answered to stay calm. Then I continued to eat my pizza.
“Then why haven’t I seen them yet?” His eyes glanced around the room like they might come around any corner. He had gotten up and opened my black fridge and I opened up a cabinet door and took out two glasses out.
“Grab the milk for me please? It’s in the right door side shelf pocket.” I instructed him as I placed the cups on the table. I swallowed before I could continue. “You haven't seen them because they don’t live here. At least they don’t live with me.” He looked so past confused that I might have laughed if we hadn't been on the subject of my parents. He handed me one of the half-full glasses of milk. “You see, they travel around the world so much for their hotel business that they don’t actually own a house. They stay at all their hotels for free. of course I hated moving so much and it was hard with school so they bought me a house and send me money. So I can pay bills, buy food, and clothes, and other things. They care because I'm their daughter not because they care about Kira.” I said malice strong in my voice. Tsume looked a little less confused but it looked like more questions would be coming.
“How old were you when you started living here?” He almost had a look of terror. I really had to think about that for a while.
“About 6 or 7 I think, I’m not really sure. I do know that it was before I was 10.” I remembered the year I turned 10; that was the year I learned what true hate was. Hate that burned in your lungs, a hatred that could make you go insane if you can’t control it. That was the first year Tsume was in my class. It was such a hard time for me. That was the year I decided I despised him. I could remember that day perfectly. The hate I felt towards him that day was so strong it started to drain my other emotions.

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